When I logged into Gmail this morning, I noticed a new option under Inbox called Buzz. I had heard all the buzz about Google Buzz and decided to check it out.

When the page refreshed, I noticed that I was already following 32 people. I was curious how this happened. As I checked my “buzz stream”, Mathew Ingram posted a link to a blog post citing the lack of privacy with Google Buzz.

According to this blog post, Google Buzz automatically follows the people you email or chat with the most. For some, this may not be an issue, but for me, it is, primarily because:

• One of the individuals in my Google Buzz follow list is the president of a company who I’ve been chatting with over the past 3-months as we get ready to launch a major announcement. I don’t want my competitors to know about this.
• Another individual is a guy I’m currently dating and I really don’t need the whole world to know right now.
• And there are a couple women in my follow list who I’ve contacted often to talk about possible projects to work on.

As you can see, I don’t need people going through my follow list and coming up with their own speculations as to why someone appears on my follow list, especially since the criteria is whomever I chat or email with the most.

So, I just turned Google Buzz off for now. I don’t have time to decipher whether to unfollow someone (actually there were 2 people who made this decision easy) and I don’t need yet another social networking tool cluttering up my space.

And that’s why some of these new social media tools stink. Instead of opting you out of their service or a feature within their service, they automatically add you and you have to manually opt out.

This was a mistake that a social networking tool called Quechup did back in 2007. When users signed up for its service, Quechup automatically sent out invitations to all the people in that user’s address book in a sly way. Dwight Silverman explains it best:

New members are asked to submit the login and password for their Gmail, Yahoo or Hotmail accounts, which are then scanned. Quechup then sends an e-mail invitation to everyone in the address book, making it appear the member approved the action.

Let’s just say that after getting an email invitation from, like, 20 of my colleagues over the course of 1 weekend who signed up for Quechup, I was miffed at being bothered by this service. I never signed up and like Robert Scoble, I kept getting apologetic emails from my colleagues saying that they were duped.

Social media services like Google Buzz and Quechup need to err on the side that opting users out of a feature and letting them choose to opt-in is the best solution.

Have you been using Google Buzz and if so, what are your thoughts?

Update: Thank God for geeks. According to ReadWriteWeb, there is a way to use Google Buzz and not reveal who’s following you and who you’re following. Plus, there’s a whole bunch of Firefox and Chrome extensions to add Google Buzz to your browser. Okay, I’m turning it back on now.

Elizabeth PW, Live Your Truth

Elizabeth PW, a faculty member of the 2010 Social Media Telesummit, recently wrote 2 blog posts that got me thinking.  Actually, her blog makes me think all the time. However, there were 2 things that she wrote recently that is prompting this blog post:

1. As a woman, I need to tap into my feminine energy.
2. That authenticity and transparency is great, but being vulnerable is way better.

Leesa Barnes: The Tomboy Turned Tough Gal

Growing up, I was a tomboy.

I found more interest playing soccer in the field with the boys than skipping in the playground with the girls.

What the girls did was so very boring. Talking about hair, makeup and which boy was the cutest.

Whatever.

What the boys did was fun. They played sports, they talked about cars and they could have a fist fight one minute then go out and pick each other to play on the same team the next.

From elementary school to university, my only focus was basketball. Anything “girlie” I stayed away from. I paid no attention to my hair, my nails or what I wore. I still attracted guys as a tomboy, so in my eyes, there was no need to change.

Leesa Barnes: The Tough Gal Turned Alpha Female

The last serious relationship I was in ended when I was 30-years old. He was a great guy, but after dating for 5-years, the relationship ran its course.

Plus, I started going back to church and he was so not interested.

Because my God was more important, I ended the relationship. Interesting, huh? I gave up an earthly man after falling in love with a Heavenly One.

Heh.

The one thing my ex told me was a huge problem in our relationship was that I was a poor communicator and I never leaned on him for help.

Boy, I sound like I was the dude in the relationshp, huh?

Yup, that was the tomboy in me. “I can do it all by myself.” So, like a dude, I shrugged off his complaint, calling him bitter and went on with my so-called life.

How Dating Showed Me that Being an Alpha Female Sucked

The last 5-years has been interesting (it’ll be 6-years as of January 12th). I’ve dated different men. Both men within my faith and those not in it.

There was this one guy, a chef, who was quite a character. He was from Quebec and wooed me with his French (I justlove a man who can speak French and can cook – great combination). He was a dreamer and spoke of all the wonderful things we would do together.

So, what was the problem? He wanted to date, move in and have babies all in the same week that we met.

Can I hear creepy?

Then, there was the married man from my church. He wanted a website done for his business. So, we met at one of my favourite restaurants and when he arrived, he told me how beautiful I looked.

Okay…

Then, after he ordered his meal (I started eating without him because he was late), instead of asking me what type of programming language do I use to power my websites, he asked:

“Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?”

I almost choked on my green tea. Or jasmine rice. Well, I don’t remember the substance, but I do remember being utterly surprised by his query.

Instead of answering the most ridiculous question he has ever asked in his natural life, I asked him about his marriage. He shared that things weren’t going well and that he’s totally attracted to me and he’d love to do stuff with me…

Let’s just say that like Joseph in the Bible, I had to flee that conversation. Literally. Left my Pad Thai Chicken behind (that’s when I was still eating meat).

That incident made me restructure my business in one day so that I no longer met with people in person to talk about “websites.” And I avoided that dude like a locust plague at my church until he apologized. And even then, I still avoid him.

It also made me wonder why was I attracting these deadbeats.

Why I (Finally) Attracted the Greatest Man Ever

Studying the Bible has revealed many different things in many different ways. I knew that the answer to my problem would be in the good book.

So, I started looking at the various women in the Bible, those who left a legacy. Women like Queen Esther, Rebekah, Sarah, Hannah, Abigail, the prophet Deborah and other women who seemed so strong, but had such amazing relationships with the men in their lives.

And then it hit me – at various points in their lives, these Biblical women showed love, respect, but most of all, vulnerability.

I finally realized that to be vulnerable isn’t really a bad thing. So, I started practicing:

• When a man opened a door for me, instead of stepping aside and motioning for him to go through first, I proudly walked through and thanked him for being so considerate (the men in Dallas do this even in elevators – love it)
• When a man paid for dinner on a date, I no longer fought him so I could pay my share. I let it go.
• I started to praise the men in my life who did things for me. Even if they didn’t do it the way I liked, instead of criticizing, I thanked them for their generosity and thoughtfulness.
• And I started to lean on the men in my life to help me with the more “manly” things.

I finally saw that tapping into my feminine power didn’t leave me powerless. That I could give up the Alpha Female and still be an amazing, smart business woman.

And in that 2-year period I was becoming more in tune with my feminine energy, it was coming through in all areas of my life. My business was better, my appearance was improving, my relationships with clients and family members were better. One of my best guy friends who’s known me for close to 20-years said that I was becoming more likable.

And then he showed up.

I’ve known him for 2-years. I was introduced to him back in 2008. He was tall (still is), cute (still is) and he had a girlfriend (well, he got rid of that problem). He did websites. I no longer did after my encounter with the married man. So, I started to refer business his way. We would talk occassionally about personal stuff. But most of our conversations were focused on business.

But 2-weeks after attending Shine and sharing my own vulnerabilities, something changed between he and I. And it’s been an amazing ride since then. For the first time in almost 6-years, I have a man worthy enough to introduce to my family. And I so can’t wait until they meet him.

Why Social Media Is a Three Pronged Approach to Profitability

Authenticity and transparency are those buzz words you keep hearing when people talk about social media. But what’s missing is vulnerability. Elizabeth PW defines vulnerability this way:

“Share the whole story about something. The bad side of what didn’t work out. The truth of the project that failed. How your business is great but your personal life has gone to heck. What’s not working in your business. And of course, share how you are turning it around, the lessons you have learned, what you are changing for next time.”

I know that each speaker at the 2010 Social Media Telesummit will be sharing their own vulnerabilities. The things that didn’t work. Why they failed. And the lessons learned from that experience.

(BTW, I’m providing sneak peeks through my preview call series. You can sign up for them on the front page.)

And yes, being vulnerable is scary. I mean, I just shared my dating history to compare that experience to how we use social media. This leaves me open. It leaves me exposed.

Egad! Someone could injure me.

But I’ve learned that being vulnerable doesn’t mean people will harm me. Quite the opposite. Being vulnerable creates professional and emotional intimacy between me, you and those who want to belong to my tribe. And that’s why being vulnerable in social media is such a good thing.

It’s no longer enough to be authentic. It’s no longer enough to be transparent. One also needs to be vulnerable in order to attract their ideal client using social media.

Your market demands this.

Now, excuse me. The greatest man ever is calling.

I used to be very obsessed with the numbers. It started in high school. I was one of those kids you hated in math class who could carry the one (Dee you’d want to avoid me) and do fractions without a calculator.

I was the one the math teacher called on when no one else had the answer. He knew I did. Every time.

Then, social media came around and my obsession became a super obsession (no, that’s not a typo). I was in it to win it. I was competing with others to see how quickly I could get my 1,000th follower on Twitter. Or my 15th friend on Facebook. Or my 2-millionith connection on LinkedIn.

I Only Cared About How Much I Scored

When I was in university, I played 2-years of varsity basketball. At the time, I was dating this ultra-competitive guy. He too played basketball, but at the college level (in Canada, there’s a BIG difference between university and college – there’s a Wikipedia entry that explains it all).

Despite the fact that we would never, ever play on the same team due to our different genders (if you didn’t get it – I’m a gal, he’s a guy) and different collegiate playing levels, he always wanted to know what I scored after each game and how many minutes I played.

My coach liked to huddle with the team after the game ended. We would shake our opponents’ hands, tell them that it was a good game, then meet our coach at the end of the bench for a post game pep talk.

Instead of running to the huddle, I would boot over to the scorer’s table to review my points scored and the minutes played so I could stuff those hefty numbers down my (ex) boyfriend’s throat.

After doing this several times, my coach beat me to the scorer’s table after one game, removed the scorer’s sheet and promised to bench me the rest of the season if I ever checked my points before huddling with the team.

So, I stopped looking at the numbers.

And shortly thereafter, I broke up with my ultra competitive, shallow, insecure boyfriend.

But, I digress…

I’m often amazed at how some measure authenticity in social media. Utterly amazed.

I’ve heard some people say that if you don’t push the publish button on your blog, type and publish your tweets in Twitter and update your status in LinkedIn, then you’re not using social media authentically.

Really? Is that how we’re measuring authenticity? By being push button communicators? This is a silly way to measure authenticity and this is what’s ruining social media.

And this quest to be the most authentic and the most transparent is killing productivity. If I have to push out every tweet, every blog post and every status update on the kazillion social media websites I belong to, when will I ever get work done?

That’s why I don’t have a problem with automating and outsourcing some social media tasks. In particular, I typically say:

“Outsource the tasks, not your voice.”

This has helped me to evaluate what I should and should not outsource when it comes to social media. And it’s helped me to become more productive and less bitter towards the very tools that were once eating up so much of my time. Because having tons of followers on Twitter, tons of connections on LinkedIn and tons of friends on Facebook mean diddly-squat if it means that I’m not making money.

That’s the honest truth. If I add a new marketing tool to my marketing arsenal and my business doesn’t grow – or worst – things start to decline, then I have to re-evaluate the tool and how I’m using it.

And sadly, many are so disillusioned with social media right now because they put all their hopes and dreams into Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn and have seen little return on their investment.

Social media is still very important. It’s important to my marketing plan and it helps me stay connected to my clients and customers. And that’s why I’m hosting the 2010 Social Media Telesummit for the last time in January 2010. Out of the 14 speakers, there are only 3 I would consider social media experts. The rest are business owners who have used social media to really boost their business. Non-social media gurus giving you social media tips. I can’t wait to hear their advice on how to do a social media “do over.”

So, at the end of the day, I do believe I’m being authentic even if I outsource and automate some social media tasks. Just as long as I don’t outsource my voice, then I can happily use social media tools with vigour and enthusiasm.

How would you answer the question – Are you being authentic when you outsource or automate social media tasks? Leave your response below.

I’m happy to announce that the 2010 Social Media Telesummit is now open for registration. This is the annual virtual event that I host which features dozens of speakers and sessions over an 8-day period.

This is the 3rd and last year that I’ll host the Social Media Telesummit. There are many reasons why and one of them is that this year’s sessions will focus more on the strategy and less on the tools. For the 2008 & 2009 events, I looked for social media experts who could teach how to use a specific tool. However, for the 2010 event, I invited experts who are using social media to build brand awareness and make money. To me, once the strategy is covered, there’ll be no reason to continue hosting this annual event.

The one thing that will make the 2010 Social Media Telesummit unique is the format. Yes, there’ll be speakers offering great content, however, the emphasis will be through active listening. In other words, attendees will be active participants in each sessions and not passive observers.

Also, each attendee will be assigned to a small group where they can mastermind with other attendees. And each small group will be facilitated by a coach. There’s no better way to apply the things you’re learning at the 2010 Social Media Telesummit than to use your mastermind buddies and coach to hold you accountable.

Plus, every attendee gets a complimentary 30-day membership in the International Social Media Association. This association was founded by Mari Smith, a speaker at the 2009 Social Media Telesummit and who was named by FastCompany.com as “the Pied Piper of the Online World” by FastCompany.com. I’m thankful that Mari extended this bonus to attendees of the 2010 Social Media Telesummit.

Click here to get more details about the 2010 Social Media Telesummit and to get access to the preview calls.

Mari Smith (pictured left) is a social media expert and blogs over at Why Facebook. She recently wrote a blog post called the 10 Tips for Creating Buzz with Facebook Events.

If you’re not familiar with how to use the Event feature in Facebook to create a buzz for your virtual event, Mari’s tips will be an eye opener for you. I especially like point #7:

Click the “Share” button and “Post to your Profile” and your invite will go on your wall for all to see. Or use the “Share” button to send an invite to specific friends or lists.

This is my rule (you may want to test your own parameters): I only promote about one event of my own on Facebook every month, so I don’t have any qualms about inviting all friends because my events are virtual (conference calls).  (In this case, I would use tip #6 above and “Invite People to Come” and “Select All” to invite everyone.) For location-specific events, you may want to be more selective.

Because virtual events are location independent, you can invite everyone on your friend list to join you. But as Mari suggests, only do a mass invite once a month so your friends don’t regret friending you.

I’ve blogged many times on the ways you can use Twitter to fill your virtual event here and here. Plus, I shared a video by CeCe Solomon-Lee on the very same topic. Dennis Shiao, a colleague of CeCe, also weighed in on the topic and while I loved all his points, one stood out that caused me concerned.

Dennis wrote about the frequency of using your event’s hashtag in your tweets and warned that you shouldn’t use them excessively. In particular, he wrote:

Be careful not to over-promote to the related hashtags, as constant promotion of your virtual event will surely turn off the followers of that hash tag – you’ll even receive backlash from them.

On the one hand, I see his point. However, there’s a way to use your event’s hashtag on Twitter that will help you avoid this backlash and allow you to tweet out updates from your virtual event.

Tweeting Before Your Virtual Event

If you’re tweeting before your virtual event to bring awareness about it, tweet about the challenges and successes of managing your virtual event. People love drama and they’ll watch your tweets with interest.

If that’s too risque for you, share links to articles or interviews that you, your exhibitors, speakers or sponsors have been involved in.

Tweeting During Your Virtual Event

The key is to tweet your reaction to what speakers are saying and not the content. This is a huge distinction. When people tweet what they heard the speaker say, that’s no fun. It means your attendees are giving away the content that they paid for. Plus, your speakers are not too pleased since a topic they probably get paid to do is now being shared publicly with thousands of people on Twitter.

Instead, encourage attendees to tweet their reaction to what they’re hearing. Not only does this force attendees to take a stand on the speaker’s viewpoint, but if the reaction is strong enough, this prompts other people to re-tweet the attendee’s tweet. Plus if you’re facilitating the session, it gives you material to use to add more fire to the presentation.

Tweeting After Your Virtual Event

Here’s where many virtual event hosts fall short. After the virtual event is over, they close their laptop and head to the spa to relax for a few days. However, this is not the time to shut down and relax. Instead, comb the Internet and tweet out blog posts and Twitter tweets that contain reactions from attendees.

Whether tweeting before, during or after your virtual event, add your virtual event hashtag to each tweet. If you follow my tips, you won’t get a backlash from your followers on Twitter as they’ll see your tweets as adding value to their lives and business.

I had the pleasure of speaking at Blog World & New Media Expo this past week. It was the first time I was excited to go to Las Vegas because I knew that ALOT of my friends would be there.

Blog World & New Media Expo is the merging of two shows – Blog World Expo which started in 2007 and Podcast & New Media Expo which started in 2005. I’ve been involved with the latter as a speaker since the 2006 show. The founders of the Podcast & New Media Expo (PNME), Tim & Emile Bourquin, put on a fine event. Every year, it was top notch. So, I had high expectations for Rick Calvart and Blog World & New Media Expo. About 90% of my expectation were met.

Why I Liked Blog World

But first, let me speak about the show itself. Blog World & New Media Expo (BWE) was fabulous. I was surprised at the

Me, Leesa Barnes, Speaking

number of people who showed up. Given that most shows are experiencing a decline in attendees, it was nice to see that the exhibitors floor and each of the session rooms were FULL of people.

Quality of Exhibitors

The quality of the exhibitors was also top notch. One of the problems with the PNME is that the lower notch exhibitors started to take over. The exhibitor floor at the 2008 PNME looked shabby. I remember some of the exhibitors either didn’t bother to show up (hence empty booths) or if they did, they put up a cloth banner with their logo finger painted on (I’m not kidding) and gave out nick knacks that had NOTHING to do with their business.

BWE was vastly different. Every exhibitor put alot of work into their booths. Shiny lights, colorful backdrops and well staffed booths with amazing people. It was beautiful to see a mixture of big name companies, such as Ford who had a gorgeous Taurus on the floor to other companies I had never heard of.

Ford's New Taurus

Quality of People

And the people I met? Wow! I chatted at length with Coach Carter’s son, caught a glimpse of Jalen Rose & Don Lemon from CNN and met a fiery PR lady from New York whom I’m chatted with (something in the works).

And of course, everyone I’ve been networking with FOREVER online who I finally met in person. People like Warren Whitlock, Denise Wakeman (she and I spoke for an hour on a coach at the Tweetup I was co-hosting – whoops), Mari Smith (yes, she stands at least 2-inches taller than me), Jeff MacArthur (Amber’s brother), Andy Walker, Christina Hills, Connie Bennett, Sean Carruthers, Jason Van Orden, Paul Colligan, Mignon Forgarty (finally!), Paolo (and I can’t remember his last name), Mark Joyner, Bryan Person, Elizabeth PW, Sarah Robinson, Carla Young, Allison N, Jeff Hecht, Tee Morris, Brian Solis, CC Chapman, Shel Holtz, Maggie Fox, Coach Deb (sporting a gorgeous pink & white jacket, remember to send it to me), Rob Walch, Chris Brogan, Tim Street, Mark Evans, Adria Richards, Tracy C, and others whose names I’ll add as I remember them.

Why I Believe the Podcasting Community Should Support BWE

To my podcasting colleagues, those who were part of Tim & Emile’s show since 2005, you MUST support BWE. Why?

1. Podcasting can only have a strong presence if we’re there. Out of all the social media tools, podcasting
   

   Mignon Forgarty, the Grammar Girl & me

   was the only one that received its own track. If we’re not there, podcasting will be forgotten and all that we’ve done as a community to make podcasting sexy will disappear.

2. The community is still there, just with lots of lights and plastic surgery. When PNME moved from the tiny community of Ontario, CA to Las Vegas, NV, many podcasters complained that the distractions along the Las Vegas strip took away from their ability to foster the relationships formed in this tight knit community. I have to admit, I too was nervous about the lack of community. The podcasting community is small and we all know each other. We may not be friends with everyone, but we know each other’s names. However, BWE encouraged and fostered the podcasting track. And now that podcasting is folded into the larger new media, it just means we get to know more people.
3. Rick Calvert is passionate about new media, social media and whatever we’ll call this thing in 10-years. I talked with him briefly before he took off to compete in a hamburger eating contest and he loves this industry. He’s passionate about seeing it grow. And he’s equally passionate about helping podcasters see the value in attending BWE in 2010.

Some Areas for Improvement for BWE

Of course, there are some things that could be improved, namely:

• Have food and water in the speaker’s room. Tim & Emile spoiled me. Every day at PNME, they provided both catered lunch and breakfast in the speakers room. There are many reasons why this is a good move for BWE to adopt for future shows. I actually had to resort to flirting just to get water in the speaker’s room on the first day. Not good for an elegant women such as myself.
• The 30 minute lightning session sucked. I don’t know what other word to use, so I’ll stick with that adjective. I felt rushed going thru 60-minutes of material in 30-minutes (my fault). Then, I had to move to the exhibitor floor to answer questions. Of the 40 or so people in my room, only 3 made it to the exhibitors hall to ask me anything. Too many distractions between the session room I spoke in and the exhibitor’s hall.
• Label which topics are for beginners and which ones are for advanced. I would much prefer to see tracks that were created for beginners and ones for advanced, rather than separated based on niche eg. mommy track, military track, real estate track. Or, maybe there’s a way to do all this at one show. Some of the feedback I heard in the hallways was that people wanted to be in a room with other advanced social media users so they can tackle more advanced issues. I mean, if you’ve been blogging for 10-years (like me), I don’t want to hear “What’s a plug-in?” from a beginner.
• Some tools were missing. Two sessions on Facebook and none on LinkedIn. One session on iPhone Apps, but none on social bookmarking. For next year’s show, I’d like to see more of a diversity of social media tools explored.
  

  Amber MacArthur (middle), Leo Laporte (right) and me

• Recordings of sessions must be better monetized. I found out that attendees and speakers could buy sessions for $14.95. I would instead suggest giving those who chose the most expensive package to get 10 sessions on CD at no cost. Speakers should get their own session at no cost. Then, offer the recordings for sale after the show is over and everyone is home. If you attended, you get them on CD for $9.99 each. If you didn’t, it’s $19.99. The digital download should be made available in iTunes for 99-cents or via a premium RSS feed for $99 for the all the sessions in a need little bundle. Whatever. Just have a monetization strategy that doesn’t penalize those who already paid for hotel, the registration fee and travel.

So, that’s my take on the BWE. I enjoyed it for many reasons and aside from my 5 areas to improve above, I would strongly encourage you to attend BWE in 2010.

If you attended BWE, what did you enjoy and what would you improve? If you didn’t attend, why not?

photos courtesy of edmorita, grammargirl, dansmath

Ian McGonnigal shared Five Powerful Ideas for Using Facebook for Events. His suggestions are excellent for those who plan events.

I like his suggestion on using Fan Pages to raise awareness about your event and to give attendees a place to connect with each other before, during and after the event. This strategy can work nicely for virtual events too, however, I recommend that you create a private Facebook group for attendees so they can post information that you don’t want the world to see (especially those who didn’t pay to access your virtual event).

Fan Pages are great because they’re indexed by search engines and you don’t have to login to Facebook to read the content. But what happens if an attendee needs the call-in details and another attendee shares it on your Facebook fan page (this happened to me, but with Twitter)? Now, anyone who didn’t pay for access to your virtual event has the connection details to get everything for free.

That’s where a Facebook group comes in. Because groups in Facebook are not indexed by search engines and can’t be found unless you login to Facebook, attendees can safely share info about your virtual event knowing that only other attendees will see.

To really make your Facebook group hidden, make sure you make this group private and choose the option for it NOT to show up in Facebook search results. That means that each person can only join your Facebook group by invitation only.

I stumbled upon this video recording that Sanyika Colloway-Boyce did for me while we both attended Milana Leshinsky’s The Bliss Factor workshop back in April 2009.

I had a chance to share with the attendees how they can use social media to attract coaching leads to their business.

This is a small clip of the 60-minute presentation that I did. In it, I share with attendees how they can release their social media fears. As you view this, I invite you to follow the exercises to release your own fears about social media, podcasting, virtual events or any other online marketing tactic. I’d love to hear your fears in the comments section below.

In Part 2, I’ll share the part of the presentation where I show you how to shake those fears so you can tackle social media, podcasting, virtual events or any other online marketing tool with confidence.